The S&M Spinster

Bring back the pain

2006-05-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

he is back. he wants to take my baby

I will let go of Farley to be free of him.

What will I do with out my little man.

How will I sleep with out his little butt against me.

Why does his love continue to hurt me.

He keeps taking everything I worked so hard for.

I worked for a sense of self, I gave it to him

He took it with him when he left.

I gave him my heart, he took it..

He gave me his dog.

Now he wants Farley back

FUCK YOU

now having said that... he will get Farely.

it will break my heart again.

I will be sad.. but I will be free.

I will be free.

Leave me six times.. and it just may be over.

2006-04-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

I am so over your lies, do you think that I will continue to open my heart to you? You call me and want to get Farley when You decide to come home.
I was going to give you him back cause you needed him. I realize now he needs me, not you. I was going to let you back in his and my life.
You did it again. You did it again. I allowed you back in.
I was so hopeful so cautious so deceptive.
I pitty you. I love you, I forgive you for your weakness.
I will forgive me for loving you.

Put this in your movie...

2006-04-07T19:57:00.000-07:00

hello baby.. how are you?
LITTLE C.: evening beautiful ... peachy, and you?
S&M Spinster: I am good.. dyed shan's mom's hair and LITTLE C.tina's
LITTLE C.: well aren't you the handy lass
S&M Spinster: I am.. I cut their hair too.
LITTLE C.: and now? relaxing?
S&M Spinster: waiting to chat with you..
LITTLE C.:
S&M Spinster:
S&M Spinster: so how was work today?
S&M Spinster: dear
LITTLE C.: it was a very busy day, but not a bad one ... i accomplished a lot
S&M Spinster: good boy.. now bend over and take it up the ass..
LITTLE C.: oh myyyyyy
S&M Spinster: I have been waiting all day to say that.. its amazing how much you want to say it to everyone.. and its not appropriate.
S&M Spinster: I need to do my nails
LITTLE C.: well, i see your messages, get immediately hard, and wish i could slide my hand to my pants and finger my cock and ass right then
S&M Spinster: you say the sweetest things
LITTLE C.: so what did you think about last night, after our conversation?
S&M Spinster: honestly...
LITTLE C.: of course
S&M Spinster: i finished working until 330
LITTLE C.: wow!
S&M Spinster: what like you havent done that
LITTLE C.: i have, yes ... fortunately, its been the exception and not the rule
S&M Spinster: I am a night owl
S&M Spinster: good thing or else I wouldn't be able to chat with you...
LITTLE C.: actually, i am very happy you're a night owl, given the time distance and all ... its nice
S&M Spinster: are you talking to some one else?
LITTLE C.: nope
LITTLE C.: like you, i'm multitasking ,,, finishing an email to a potential business associate
S&M Spinster: ggod thing I don't like to share.. ahhh you are such a diligent business man.. so cute. what color should I paint my nails.. they are long and natural. you can choose the color of the nails that I masterbate with when I think of you.
LITTLE C.: i'd love for you to have red nails ... i can then visualize those nails scratching my back, and fingering my ass for your pleasure
S&M Spinster: hooker red?
LITTLE C.: mistress red
S&M Spinster: as you wish
S&M Spinster: when you visit me you will paint my nails on your knees
LITTLE C.: omg ... i would love to do that. one of the things i've loved doing as a submissive, is working as a sensual and house S&M Spinster
S&M Spinster: I have had cabanna boys before, the job proved to difficult. He wasn't up to the task..do you think you would be?
LITTLE C.: i am supremely confident in my ability to please ... very confident
LITTLE C.: and ... i suspect that you have that sense as well
S&M Spinster: I am pleases with your vocabulary and ability to spell
LITTLE C.: you know i'm more than a simple submissive
S&M Spinster: there is nothing simple about you..
LITTLE C.:
S&M Spinster: finish the story with your erection...
LITTLE C.: from last night, and our conversation?
S&M Spinster: yes...
LITTLE C.: so, as i mentioned earlier, i felt my cock throbbing and twitching, and then i felt more than the normal precum seeping ... my cock starting pumping and a lot of cum started pumping out, which dropped down my cock and balls and to my ass
S&M Spinster: wow
LITTLE C.: when i got offline, i slid my pants off and stroked my wet cock, until i came again, hard, all over my hand and stomach
S&M Spinster: very nice
LITTLE C.: so, the physical evidence proves ... you ahd me wholly aroused
S&M Spinster: thats very good
LITTLE C.: thank you
S&M Spinster: tell me more How many times did you think of me and what we discussed
LITTLE C.: when i went to bed ... once when i woke up, and in the shower this morning ....
LITTLE C.: i finger fucked my ass this morning in the shower while masturbating again, thinking of being fucked while you watched
S&M Spinster: anytime at work
LITTLE C.: when i got to work and logged online ... when you messaged me ... driving home
S&M Spinster: I thought of you when I was in traffilittle c...kegle muscles thrustings
LITTLE C.: i love hearing that
LITTLE C.: so have you told anyone about me?
S&M Spinster: everyone.
S&M Spinster: I don't ever keep secrets
S&M Spinster: I tell everything
LITTLE C.: wow ... see, here's where you're so very lucky ... i dont have anyone so close, that would understand me sharing more about you than i met someone i am attracted to, on the internet
S&M Spinster: I know its crazy isn't it.. I get so excited about it.. Mainly cause I can't believe I am attracted to someone too..
S&M Spinster: I am still waiting to see if you a married transvestite..
LITTLE C.: married, no ....
LITTLE C.: lol
S&M Spinster: no laugh on transvestite?
LITTLE C.: well, i'm not a transvestite
S&M Spinster: I would probably like that.. They are my favorite at the bar
LITTLE C.: though i have worn lingerie at the instruction of a dominant before
S&M Spinster: of course you will
LITTLE C.: i've been bent over and fucked, wearing thigh high stockings and a garter ... and paraded around in collar while wearing the same with a lace g-string
S&M Spinster: ohhh 1763 night
LITTLE C.: yes
S&M Spinster: so what were you supposed to look into today?
LITTLE C.: travel
S&M Spinster: very good.. did you look into it?
LITTLE C.: even possibly better ... i coincidentally had a client in atlanta call me today, who i hadn't spoken with in months, who suggested a meeting in their offices in the near future. How is THAT for coincidence ... or kismet?
S&M Spinster: excS&M Spinstert. nothing better than a booty call but a booty call you can write off as a business expense
LITTLE C.: well, even moreso, i dont have to fabricate a personal time off excuse ... i can come with a purpose, and yet leave significant time for you
S&M Spinster: how near is future is the near future. I know sweets... a booty call you can write off. its brillant. plus you get the prasie for having to fly...
S&M Spinster: If I had my best job ever it would be to work with criminally insane. I think they would be fasinating.
LITTLE C.: ok, so that is a truly random statement lol
S&M Spinster: I was chatting with my cousin on the phone when I wasn't able to talk with you.. and she was talking about how I am the weirdest one in my family,. and I am proud.
S&M Spinster: I know.. little personality missles
S&M Spinster: missels
LITTLE C.: for the record, you're not weird, you're diverse and truly unique
S&M Spinster: Thats great but I don't mind weird.
S&M Spinster: I love it.
S&M Spinster: I want to be the weird chick you meet.
S&M Spinster: Not because I am funky dressed
S&M Spinster: but because I want to impress an odd imprint on your life
S&M Spinster: I shouldn't have had that wine
LITTLE C.: hehehe ... i like it
S&M Spinster: this is me sweets.. I sometimes get on rants... that are crazy. I make eroaneous statements... did you read about the points?
LITTLE C.: i dont think so, no ... is it on one of the blogs?
S&M Spinster: yes.. I make statements that I have more lesbian points then my lesbian friend Bucket. (aka COurt) it pisses her off.
S&M Spinster: so I am a lesbian by proxy
LITTLE C.: lol ... i have a gay friend, who i make a similar comment about ... i tell him i've had a more significant relationship with a man that he ever has had and he gets pissed
S&M Spinster: they are so touchy..
S&M Spinster: hell I have made out with more women than courtney has. I am a slut
LITTLE C.: not a slut ... you're just, eceptionally friendly
S&M Spinster: thank you.. I know.. I was just being nice... Its unfriendly not to make out with someone.
S&M Spinster: but how funny I have made it to second iwth more girls than she has... that is 2 X 2 base = 4 (homerun)
LITTLE C.: i've actually only done that with two guys ... one was when i was drunk at a party and dared into it, and the other was my lover
S&M Spinster: Courtney go down = home run (4)
S&M Spinster: dared to have homosexual sex.. I want to be at that party
LITTLE C.: dared to mug out with another guy, not have sex lol
LITTLE C.: my homosexual sex was with the other one lol
S&M Spinster: mug out? thats a coloqolialism
S&M Spinster: slut, gay slut!
LITTLE C.: i was speaking in the context of kissing (mugging out), not sex
LITTLE C.: hehehe
S&M Spinster: shannon would be so proud.. thats from our home.
S&M Spinster: i know
S&M Spinster: slut
LITTLE C.: a very proud slut, yes
S&M Spinster: tell me we can talk about more that just sex. I am good. either way
LITTLE C.: i like going back and forth ... that's why i enjoy you, we talk work, then sex, then friends, then sex, then personalities, then gay sex ... how fun lol
S&M Spinster: I like this play too...
LITTLE C.: you're random, as i am
S&M Spinster: when I drink I am really able to get on a vibe
LITTLE C.: when i drink, i become some disturbing blend between socrates and that annoying drunk that becomes your best friend
S&M Spinster: me too! I am more Freud!
S&M Spinster: oh my god.. I just got so gushy... I don't want to like a guy on the internet!
LITTLE C.: next think you know, they'll be making a movie about you and I, starring meg ryan and tom hanks
LITTLE C.: oh wait ... already did lol
S&M Spinster: oh my god... if you only knew what you just said.
S&M Spinster: hold on a sec
LITTLE C.: 'k
S&M Spinster: I had to call my friend and tell her what you said.
LITTLE C.: lol... how come?
S&M Spinster: You see dear one. You have just gotten yourself in a hell of a pickle
S&M Spinster: what kind of pickle you ask
LITTLE C.: do tell
S&M Spinster: well the baby dill.
S&M Spinster: you are in trouble because of the movie reference.
LITTLE C.: well, explain it!!!!!!!
S&M Spinster: In my youth... many years ago
S&M Spinster: I would smoke
S&M Spinster: an herb
S&M Spinster: and then I would tell everyone that :this was tb
S&M Spinster: tv
S&M Spinster: or my favorite "Those people on tv are pretending"
S&M Spinster: an infamous quote
S&M Spinster: and once I looked at amy at a bar
S&M Spinster: and she just said to me..
S&M Spinster: without saying a word
S&M Spinster: S&M Spinster put it in the movie
LITTLE C.: so im still trying to figure out if im in a good or bad pickle lol
S&M Spinster: either! Because I had to call my friend to tell her you said this.. if it is a sign
S&M Spinster: I may have to meet you.
LITTLE C.: merely "may?" i am already at the must stage
S&M Spinster: well I am comtemplating a background check
S&M Spinster: social worker.. have cop friends
S&M Spinster: job has its benefits
LITTLE C.: just dont read too much into the credit report ... its a trainwreck lol
S&M Spinster: well I would have to get your last name. I can't afford the phone line trace
S&M Spinster: not that I have thought of this.. Shan says I am obsessive.. I just want to know who is in my home..
LITTLE C.: Homer, like in simpson
S&M Spinster: really?
S&M Spinster: Drankvodkaski
S&M Spinster: like in
S&M Spinster: nothing
LITTLE C.: lol
S&M Spinster: so has any other woman had this discussion with you before?
S&M Spinster: pretty sad state of society.. but channel 5 is a bitch
LITTLE C.: which discussion?
S&M Spinster: the threat of the back ground check.
LITTLE C.: nope, but one actually DID one without telling me before hand, and then told me afterwards i checked out find and how ... i was a tad pissed
LITTLE C.: not because she did it, but how she did it
S&M Spinster: good to know..
S&M Spinster: how did you vote in the last election..
LITTLE C.: i didn't
S&M Spinster: AHAHAHHHAAHHHHHAA
S&M Spinster: sigh!
S&M Spinster: what?
S&M Spinster: for shame
LITTLE C.: i didn't vote ... i was in san francisco on election day and didn't get to vote
S&M Spinster: what about absentee vote?
LITTLE C.: i'd have written in jesse venture if id' have had a chance though lol
LITTLE C.: no, i normally dont skip a vote, but i forgot to vote absentee
S&M Spinster: really?
LITTLE C.: joking on venture ... but seriously, i was disheartened with the entire election and choices
LITTLE C.: as a rule, i dont believe democracy is about voting against someone, for voting FOR someone ... and the choices lately have been vexxing
S&M Spinster: just spank my pussy right now you dirty little boy
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress ... whatever You command
S&M Spinster: just slam your cock into my pussy and finger my clit while you fuck your ass on my thigh dildoe
LITTLE C.: the thigh dildo ... mmmmmmmmm
S&M Spinster: speak to me in you words.. that are more intelligent that 12h grade english.
S&M Spinster: god I just want to be the teacher and stand above you with a leather coat and fishnets and boots.. and a whip.
S&M Spinster: you will be my prize student.
S&M Spinster: you missed a grade in the test and I kept you after.. I make you stand up and look at my leg in the boots
S&M Spinster: you have to lick it before I release the back of your neck.
LITTLE C.: mmmmmm
S&M Spinster: I push you back to your chair and then strattle you pushing my breasts into your face .
LITTLE C.: it will be difficult for me to hide my excitement
S&M Spinster: I rub up and down to get my scent on you.
S&M Spinster: shut up..
S&M Spinster: I want it out
LITTLE C.: yes Ma'am
S&M Spinster: I want it up.with the juices from my pussy on your slacks
S&M Spinster: I want you to be stained when you leave my classroom. My mark
S&M Spinster: take pride if your shame
LITTLE C.: i do truly enjoy, my public humiliation
S&M Spinster: I take your dick out of your pants and just put my pussy lips over it. I take the flogger out... and tell you that you should have studied harder for that test..
S&M Spinster: You didn't work hard enough
S&M Spinster: you have displeased me, ignorance displeases me..
S&M Spinster: you will be punished.
LITTLE C.: yes Ma'am
S&M Spinster: I take my legs off and swish my pussy lips on the top of your penis.. never fully taking it im my wet pussy
S&M Spinster: I get up and off of you and take you by the neck and pull you to the table. you stand there with your bare ass exposed.
S&M Spinster: hol on I have to potty
LITTLE C.: yes Ma'am
S&M Spinster: ok where were we?
LITTLE C.: my bare ass on the table, Mistress
S&M Spinster: more get me back to the moment
LITTLE C.: i've disappointed you with my lack of preparedness ... you have decided that i will be humiliated the way, that a slut should be
S&M Spinster: you have tried to but the correct answer was the sent of my perfume to you and or the definition of the smell of my leather coat. smack your ass twice.
S&M Spinster: tell me when you are done.. your bare ass
S&M Spinster: leave a mark
LITTLE C.: done
S&M Spinster: good boy...
LITTLE C.: thak you
S&M Spinster: now as your were wrong so was our young man held in the teachers captive
S&M Spinster: he was wearing a school boy uniforn and his nickers were dowm past his sweet tight ass.
S&M Spinster: the light from the windows made his skin look like it was glowing.
S&M Spinster: his ass pleased the teacher.
S&M Spinster: She rubbed it
S&M Spinster: she kissed it
LITTLE C.: mmmmmmmm
S&M Spinster: she licked it.
S&M Spinster: she would gaze in pride at her prize pupil
S&M Spinster: then she smacked it.
S&M Spinster: the jerk in the skin surprised you.
S&M Spinster: you jutted in pain and surprise.
S&M Spinster: she hit you again.
S&M Spinster: and again
S&M Spinster: and agaain.
LITTLE C.: yes yes yessssss
S&M Spinster: changing her hand position for a mark on his ass.
S&M Spinster: how many times?
LITTLE C.: as many as You feel appropriate
S&M Spinster: I want a number..... when I ask you I want a number. to ensure you are paying attention.. your response time was slow. one spank
S&M Spinster: and a finger up your ass
LITTLE C.: 20
LITTLE C.: one spank done
LITTLE C.: my ass fingered
S&M Spinster: good.
S&M Spinster: so she spanked him 20 times.
S&M Spinster: then she grabbed to her belt. and pulled out a whip of some sort.
S&M Spinster: what kind of whip
LITTLE C.: a flogger ... leather straps, with a thick leather handle
S&M Spinster: nicely done. now come here and let me grab and twist your nipples.. while kissing your neck.
S&M Spinster: my hand slides down your ass and fingers it.
LITTLE C.: mmmmmmmmmmmmm
S&M Spinster: then... she takes her flogger out and runs it over the students ass.
S&M Spinster: are you going to spell the word for me?
S&M Spinster: are you going to spell it correctly?
LITTLE C.: which word, Mistress?
LITTLE C.: i will spell them all to Your satisfaction, i promise
S&M Spinster: don't question me.. just say yes mistress.
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress ... anything
S&M Spinster: no just yes mistress
LITTLE C.: Yes Mistress
S&M Spinster: your brown nosing has urked. me.
S&M Spinster: bend over and three spanks. 2 fingers. I want a mark
LITTLE C.: done, including fingers
LITTLE C.: i am sorry Mistress ... but my little cock, is gotten hard from the excitement of your slaps ... it is seeping its juices
S&M Spinster: grade grubbing
S&M Spinster: grade grubbing .
S&M Spinster: I am so vexxed.
S&M Spinster: agitated.
S&M Spinster: what will please me?
S&M Spinster: what will sooth my angered spirit?
LITTLE C.: more fingers? more slaps?
S&M Spinster: yes of course.. don't take so long to answer.
S&M Spinster: pay attention..
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress
S&M Spinster: 3 fingers
S&M Spinster: 7 slaps
LITTLE C.: done
LITTLE C.: my god
S&M Spinster: 2 more fingers.
S&M Spinster: you doing ok baby.
LITTLE C.: you are making me so wet, and wanting so much more
LITTLE C.: i want to be bent and flogged ...
LITTLE C.: i want to be fucked ...
LITTLE C.: i want to be humiliated ...
S&M Spinster: i am jacking off in the chair.
S&M Spinster: listening to LITTLE C.tian television
LITTLE C.: please ... give me the opportunity ... ot be used and submit completely to you ... be a complete slut for you
S&M Spinster: we shall see.
S&M Spinster: in the name of jesus
S&M Spinster: glory to god
S&M Spinster: thats on the television
LITTLE C.: while i stroke my cock and finger my ass
S&M Spinster: in the mighty name of jesus.
S&M Spinster: he just spoke in tongues
S&M Spinster: there is a devil in that false hood of the healer preacher,,
S&M Spinster: he is a fink.
S&M Spinster: finger your ass 3 times for his sins
LITTLE C.: done, and thank you ... i was losing my erection
S&M Spinster: I got cha babe.. trust me.. I don't want you go limp just last
S&M Spinster: I am going to ware you out
LITTLE C.: i know you will ... that is one of the many things that make you so pleasing
S&M Spinster: mon enfant... you lost trust in my sexuality.. The work was VEX. my student was supposed to spell vex.
S&M Spinster: The student got 20 spanks from the teacher
S&M Spinster: her hand was swift but not quick
S&M Spinster: then she slapped his thighs
S&M Spinster: 20 times. 10 each thigh
S&M Spinster: she made him spell each number
S&M Spinster: o n e
LITTLE C.: oh myyyyyy
S&M Spinster: t w o
S&M Spinster: t h r e e
S&M Spinster: all the way to ten one each thigh.
S&M Spinster: spell it you little grade grubber. you brown noser. She suprised you by stickin her finger straight into your ass. she wasn't swift or quick
S&M Spinster: you felt her nail scratch a little. and she did n't care
S&M Spinster: but once it was in she new how to wiggle it
LITTLE C.: yesssss Mistress
S&M Spinster: are you ready to spell?
LITTLE C.: f o u r
S&M Spinster: next
LITTLE C.: f i v e
S&M Spinster: ok
S&M Spinster: get to ten
LITTLE C.: s i x
LITTLE C.: s e v e n
LITTLE C.: e i g h t
LITTLE C.: n i n e
LITTLE C.: t e n
S&M Spinster: you will get a finger later for the time it took you to spell that
S&M Spinster: but not now
S&M Spinster: so the teacher took her finger in the students ass. she rubbed her tits over his red ass
LITTLE C.: my god i am hard again
S&M Spinster: now jimmy..
S&M Spinster: spell vex for me.
LITTLE C.: VEX
S&M Spinster: NO.
S&M Spinster: :You are wrong
S&M Spinster: how does that make you feel
LITTLE C.: sad, and naughty
S&M Spinster: why you spelled it right.
S&M Spinster: you were right and I am lying to your face.
S&M Spinster: your pathetic little face
S&M Spinster: you can't get mad/?
LITTLE C.: because You want to torment me ... tease me ... because it pleases you to see me treated like this
S&M Spinster: pussy
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress
S&M Spinster: finger your ass 4 times.
S&M Spinster: for being such a pussy
LITTLE C.: god i want you to fuck me so bad ... rape my ass
S&M Spinster: how will you entertain me now pussy?
S&M Spinster: ohhh... just when I think you can't possible impress me you bring up fucking..
S&M Spinster: tht is how you can entertain me. fucking
LITTLE C.: yes ... fucking
S&M Spinster: I am going to lay on the bed.
S&M Spinster: I want you to come up and fuck me.
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress ... how do you want me to fuck you?
S&M Spinster: tell me how do I want you to fuck me.
S&M Spinster: what do I wish.
LITTLE C.: you want me to spank your pussy, with my cock
S&M Spinster: yes... I do. but what more do I want.
S&M Spinster: how do I want to feel about your sexuality
LITTLE C.: that my sexuality ... is at your whim and control ... i can be your man, or i can be your little fag pussy, depending on your mood
S&M Spinster: yes.. I know but my whim is to see your choice.. the correct answer is that I will be suprised by your intimacy with the fuck. You were eager to please and tender.
S&M Spinster: you liked to kiss more then I expected. it was a joy
S&M Spinster: that was the correct answer.
LITTLE C.: i devour you with my kisses, Mistress
S&M Spinster: 5 no, 7 fingers..
S&M Spinster: no.. no kisses... you must earn the right to kiss. you must earn it with the heart and your purity to me.
S&M Spinster: no have you had the 7 fingers ?
LITTLE C.: done
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress
S&M Spinster: now.. where were we?
LITTLE C.: purity
S&M Spinster: before that. and spank
LITTLE C.: how you want me to fuck you
S&M Spinster: no actually we were talking about you being a little pussy and not standing up to me
S&M Spinster: remember when you couldn't spell vex. but you did
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress
S&M Spinster: so you were what?
LITTLE C.: a pussy
S&M Spinster: good
S&M Spinster: so little jimmy was such a pussy boy like you.
LITTLE C.: yes
S&M Spinster: he just looked at his teacher and tried to believe in what she said. she was right she was always right. i have no fucking spine
S&M Spinster: I am such a pussy
S&M Spinster: thats why I like it up my ass
S&M Spinster: I like it
S&M Spinster: I like it
LITTLE C.: i love it
S&M Spinster: finger your fucking ass.
S&M Spinster: pussy
LITTLE C.: like is for friends ... love is for lovers and sluts and pussies like me
S&M Spinster: huh?
LITTLE C.: you said i like it ... "like" is too soft a term, as i love it
S&M Spinster: wow.. just had a snap of reality
S&M Spinster: I can't believe this shit..
S&M Spinster: What the hellis in my fucking head
S&M Spinster: I should write this shit down. it woudl be a great s&m story
LITTLE C.: i agree ...
LITTLE C.: its incredibly arousing
LITTLE C.: would you be comfortable truly using a flogger on me?
S&M Spinster: hold on.. I am still in normal world
LITTLE C.:
S&M Spinster: got a little to plugged into the matrix
S&M Spinster: you think I could write a book?
LITTLE C.: thats liek asking if you could drink water, i suspect
S&M Spinster: or do you think I should be a forensic psychologist
S&M Spinster: hey pussy i asked you a question
LITTLE C.: i thin you should write a book
S&M Spinster: whar?
LITTLE C.: i think you should write a book
S&M Spinster: mistress
LITTLE C.: I think you should write a book, Mistress
S&M Spinster: LITTLE C.topher... you must pay attention...
LITTLE C.: i am, Mistress
S&M Spinster: 5 figers and three laps
S&M Spinster: sadie has jumped in my lap... the mistress mistress
S&M Spinster: you have stirredher with my typing... 9 figers...
S&M Spinster: she is a demanding pussy
LITTLE C.: my fingers are going to make me cum, Mistress
LITTLE C.: i can cum, from having my ass penetrated
S&M Spinster: this amuses us
S&M Spinster: brown noser
S&M Spinster: finger again
S&M Spinster: do you want to whine about cumming
S&M Spinster: are you afraid to cum
S&M Spinster: finger again for you cowardess
S&M Spinster: don't type anyting.
LITTLE C.: no, Mistress ... i want You to know how your instructions affect me
S&M Spinster: you should be fingering.
S&M Spinster: not fucking typing
S&M Spinster: finger again
S&M Spinster: and again
S&M Spinster: and again until you are dont pussy
S&M Spinster: done
S&M Spinster: pussy
LITTLE C.: my god
S&M Spinster: are you done?
LITTLE C.: i am soaked in cum, Mistress
S&M Spinster: ohh this pleases me.
S&M Spinster: I am smiling
LITTLE C.: i am glad i have pleased you
S&M Spinster: only one more question..
S&M Spinster: spell vex
LITTLE C.: VEX
S&M Spinster: you do please me.
S&M Spinster: you please me very much
LITTLE C.: may i taste myself, Mistress
S&M Spinster: no. you may not.
LITTLE C.: yes, Mistress
S&M Spinster: I am spent. you clean up ... you should really be cleaning up my house to. I have soda bottles.. nail polish out.
S&M Spinster: all because of my time with you.
LITTLE C.: i will clean your house when i come ... dressed how you like ... as a token of thanks for Your time
S&M Spinster: may be a payment for paying attention to you.. you can clean my house in a french maid outfit. with hose and heals.
LITTLE C.: omgggggg
LITTLE C.: i would adore that
S&M Spinster: again sweetie.. you don't trust
S&M Spinster: you fear I wont know the story
S&M Spinster: who have you dealt iwth in the past.
S&M Spinster: they were pathetilittle c.
S&M Spinster: I will paint the worl for you.
S&M Spinster: I will create.
S&M Spinster: but you must trust me.
S&M Spinster: you have cum on you
LITTLE C.: i trust you ... i promise
S&M Spinster: lovely cum you can not taste even though you want to
S&M Spinster: now finger with 2 fingers until it hurts...or three.. until you can't take it.. and tell me when you are done
S&M Spinster: slowly
S&M Spinster: push to your limit
S&M Spinster: think of the cum dripping on you..
S&M Spinster: think of your marks on your ass
S&M Spinster: think of the french maid outfit
LITTLE C.: yes Mistress
S&M Spinster: your cute ass in frilly panties
S&M Spinster: tell me when you are done
LITTLE C.: done Mistress
S&M Spinster: how long had you been done?
LITTLE C.: whe i said yes Mistress
S&M Spinster: finger again..dammit. I had said earlier when you are done say done. I don't want yes... mistress.. I want done, mistress
S&M Spinster: should you have to do it again for ruining the first one?
LITTLE C.: done Mistress
S&M Spinster: ok...
S&M Spinster: well how would I feel about your fucking?
LITTLE C.: pleased
S&M Spinster: thats it?
S&M Spinster: were you even paying attention to me?
LITTLE C.: of course, Mistress
S&M Spinster: i dont know.. why do you wnat to talk if you aren't even going to pay attention.
S&M Spinster: I could be watching the ga auction car show.
LITTLE C.: surprised
LITTLE C.: you would feel surprised
S&M Spinster: what would I think about your fucking
S&M Spinster: why would I feel suprised
LITTLE C.: my intimacy
S&M Spinster: nice
S&M Spinster: good
S&M Spinster: very good
S&M Spinster: ok.
S&M Spinster: I am so pleased with you
LITTLE C.: thank you Mistress
S&M Spinster: ok. I am going to bed.
LITTLE C.: sweet, pleasant dreams
S&M Spinster: yes.

I had the best New Years

2006-02-08T21:38:00.000-08:00

Casey called.. Wanted to come home.

I was taking pics of my boobs with other boobs, when he called

Made out with two people on New Years

Then he wanted to come home.

You know when you have an ex. and all you want in life is to have them regret leaving you.

I got that. It's as good as it sounds.

He said he could be home in "three weeks baby"

he said that 11 months ago.

I have the best thing from him. Farley Dean

he is a little shit, but has become mama's little boy

I love him

Stew Weasel has a tooth issue. He is going to the Dentist to get dental work.

I haven't been to the dentist in over a year. But my ferret will have his teeth cleaned and his gums worked on. Priorities.

Hard Candy Christmas

2005-12-13T23:34:00.000-08:00

Its the Christmas season. I can't help but miss the man I love.
It was Christmas the first time Casey and I slept together. Three Christmas' ago. I had made the f irst move. I never did that. He was gentle, I don't know how to appreciate that. Little did he know what he was for me.

He was the first man I sought after and won. The first man I had my eye on for years. He was smarter than the previous man I chose, more of a challenge. He was a tragedy with potential. He encompassed everything I desired. He looked like he was capable of despicable acts, but never discussed it in detail. He was creepy. I loved that about him. I loved how weird he was compared to others. I drooled when I saw him. I invited him to things when my friends didn't like him.

I loved him. Then life fucking happened. Why did he look creepy and pathetic? Because he was creepy, disrespectful and pathetic. He was able to do those horrific things, there was no heart of gold, he was an addict. He wasn't an addict to just one drug. He was a whore of an addict. Worse, a cheap hooker of a nasty, trailer park addict.

The park you went into once but didn't stay long. I think when a stench from one of those parks gets on you it eats your soul. He was the trash hooker who had fucked everyone in that park. I was the stupid idiotic, fat academic social worker desperate for love.

I can just see all his friends wondering why I am fucking him. How stupid the poor fat girl is, she has no idea and only good intentions. He needed me, I gave him drink, food and shelter. He gave sex, and some indication without verbal recognition of caring for me. When I wanted more, when I expressed my needs he told me then. Let me know how fucking brutal and uncaring with my emotions he could be.

There is always a loop hole in any contract and into one's good graces.
Last Christmas, we were living together. He knew I loved him. I told him. I didn't want to hold back. I wanted him to feel love. I wanted him to fill that void in his life with my love for him. I wanted him to be confident in who he was, as I loved him. As I loved him, but, not as he was. I lost confidence in myself. He could not grow, He was. I hope he felt loved, I wonder if he loved. Is possible for him to love. He who escapes reality by a chemical, not by a feeling that gives elation.

He finally escaped our relationship in March. His mother called him home to Chicago. He was to be gone a week. When I was giving him my big suitcase I thought..I really like this suitcase. I may never get it back. Yes I will, when he comes to get his car and his dog. I never got it back. He escaped. He found a way out from me. He found what made his heart sing. It wasn't me.

I don't know how to look at it. I see it as a great honor to be left what I define as the best part of him. His dog. I love this dog. I also pity it and Casey. I loved the way Casey took care of Farley. I loved to watch him talk to his dog, about his dog I loved to watch them argue. Now I have Farley, a great saving influence to Casey is gone. I can't help but wonder if Farley knows. Does he know how low his father was to never come back for him? Does he know the anguish regret and self hatred Casey should feel whenever he sees another dog. Will Farley look at me on his dying day and wish for his daddy, and not his step momma. Will he know that I will miss him. That I wish I could get his daddy there for him but I am all I can do.

I fear abandonment. I fear being alone this Christmas. I miss him. I ache for answers, for gossip. I need so much from him, for him to still need me. To be lost, to remember me and have regret. Or to remember me with a smile and a story or two. I feel like a spinster. I have swelled. I am lifeless.
I failed the whole year. I quit my job, I didn't get into school, I lost the man I love. Some where in Chicago. My Chicago is now stained with the shit mark on your underwear of my life.
But I survived. I am in pain, numb and feeding my heartbreak. But I have survived. I work every day. In a job that pays ok. Not great but back on course for a career. In a field that is what gives my soul nurture.
Maybe I am not the kind that should be nurtured. I need to challenge myself. The time to morn should end. I need to thrive and get back on track with who I am. What I can accomplish. Then I see the fire and remember the nights we would have sex infront of it listening and feeling the heat.

Where as I remember it in a dream like atmosphere, I can't help seem to get a hint of chore in his behavior. How terrible, for one to feel this beautiful moment in your life, is a chore in someone else's.

hello there

2005-10-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

this thing has begun to bore me now.
so I won't probably be writing often. I will speak of my next adventure when it happens or maybe turn it into the quest for s&m.
or not

what is wrong with the world?

2005-10-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

so begins DD's PMS
I have cramps that would kill the average man
I am hateful, then cry because I am so mean to my friends, whom I love
Zits bigger then my breasts are on my chin.
Earlier in the day returned a call from
some attorney office calling the wrong number
I spoke to scott for 1/2 and hour,
realized it was the best conversation
I have had with a man in a long time.
Almost asked him to be the father of my children
then I wouldn't have a period for 16 months..
have to include time to breast feed.
Then I remembered, children are; expensive, small and ask questions.
most people don't like me around their children
something about being inappropriate.
FUCKERS.. LIFE IS CRUEL THEY NEED TO KNOW IT
I am sorry, so sorry I love the little ones.. anyway
I actually called McDonalds to complain about their grilled chicken
called their 800 number
told them it "tasted like ass"
what am I expecting?.. it was McDonalds.
I won a free fries on the game though.
then I slept, had a dream
that I think included penguins and Robin Williams
we were supposed to have a 3some..
I don't know if the penguins were with Robin williams or
they were just in the area
I hope they weren't part of the 3some.
I get so horny before my period.
and I am going to the camp where I am afraid.
Add 1 horny,
shake up many, many, many, shots
30+ naked peni'
sounds like a recipe for...
who knows.. like I will remember
good times.

Fears about going to a nudist colony

2005-09-30T00:36:00.000-07:00

1. The place will smell like ass
2. How am I going to see a penis and not suck it
3. How am I going to see my friends parents naked
4. How am I going to be able to sneak to the swingers park

just want to see if the floor is sticky
5. There is a dance, will someone get an eye poked out?
A. Will there be slapping of faces due to elongated breasts swinging about?
B. Does the hair fall out on the dance floor?

The final fear:

Where does the sneeze bar on the buffet go?

REALIZATIONS AFTER GOING TO NAKED CITY

1. It did not smell like ass, it was very clean

2. Shinola got the "Groper" gene from her dad

3. No one in my field of friends will ever get a tattoo of a butterfly --at the dance party in the strobe lighting, they just look like their dying, grasping for the final flight.

4. Shinola parents look awesome, damn I wish I looked that good.

5. Pray that some men are growers.

6. Nudists are the nicest people in the world AND can drink me under the table

7. Aretha gets most of my drunk calls because her name starts with A. --I think she should blame her parents

8. Mimosa's the next morning do not count as alcohol.

9. Nudists are huggers and will hug you first time they meet you.

ex. DD walks into the camp, sees a butt... Can't focus.

Then meets a member of the camp and goes to shake hands.

Liver --not her real name says "oh no hon, we hug here."

DD says "we do?"

10. DD still gets laugh attacks when nervous and must be quarantined.

11. If the members are wearing clothes the next day

you do not recognize them.

12. Even if still naked do not recognize them because they drank you under the table.

The Penis in the Bar

2005-09-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

As requested, I will now tell the story of the Penis in the Bar.

as I remember it.

I was going out with a friend of mine to a night on the town.

In fabulous Fort Wayne, Indiana.

The Lights, the action,

the bar that I was at (with my mom) closed at 12:30a.m.

What's a girl who hasn't been around gay people in days to do?

Find A GAY BAR.

Then do many, many, many, shots.

Then...um.. I remember grabbing this guys butt.

Telling him I would penetrate him with my finger,

not just play with...

(a tip on how to give a good BJ by my cousin J.)

and seeing his penis because my friend Cristina told him too bring it out...

then accosting these lesbians because I missed my roommates.

Getting 11 calls from my mother asking me not to sleep with some guy

that I didn't know and wasn't even flirting with.

Thats all I remember.

Christina is the true perp of the penis

Not I, I am sweet and probably on the phone.

The obsession with boobs.

2005-09-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

It may not be known but I tend to need supervision when I drink.

Or weird things happen, like I go home with some guy and put things in his naughty places, when asked nicely...

Its cool to think when he shit for a week he thought of me..

I make enemies in bars.. A guy said he wanted to entertain us.. so we told him to strip while river dancing. I would have been entertained.

I am the only gf who took her topless roommate to her bf and grabbed her boobs from behing and sang "my milk jugs brings all the boys to the yard." What man wouldn't want to see that?

Moral of story: If I drink with you, chances are I will touch boobs.

All my friends are lesbians what do you expect?

Why I hate not being a lesbian

2005-09-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

I decided to give online dating a try. For some reason it seems to work for others and I figured; why not? OHHHH, now I remember, I get to hear that men have 9" cocks and see their proud erection while they chat. I wondered how it is that only the men on the internet have these huge dicks? Now understand, I have been with one man who was large. (Joe, if you read this you were right, I do miss you. Still it is only part of you I LONG for). Anyway, the white men I have been with don't have the 9". You know the saying once you go black you don't go back. White men think its cause they won't have you. No, white women get a feel of what they have been missing, the other 7'.
I fell in love with my last white, long haired, great legs bf for the love he showed his dog, he had problems but I thought he had potential. He just needed a friend who believed in him. Say it all together,"AHHHH." We lived together on and off for over a year. He left for Chicago in March and took my suitfcase while I watched Farley. The suitfcase was my x-mas gift from my sister. I really liked it.
I love Farley, he is the oldest, grumpiest, and gassiest dog in the world. He farts constantly. He loves to eat paper, tissues, cat shit and tampons. He has to sleep right against my back and he smiles all the time. For Halloween he's going to be a pirate.
Moral of my story: dating in the end you may get or lose some baggage.

Crap.. I am a quack.

2005-09-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

I took a test from Fritz.. and am not suprised by the results

You Are A: Duck!Found in many lakes and ponds, ducks are a common site the world over. Known for their famous quack, ducks tend to congregate in flocks or go off on their own in pairs. As a duck, you may seem friendly at times but will not hesitate to bite if someone is bothering you. Your love for travel and your ability to swim are some reasons why you are a duck.You were almost a: Pony or a Bear CubYou are least like a: Chipmunk or a Mouse

The S&M Spinster

2005-09-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

Hey there all, I am the S&M spinster

This blog is my little fight against the forces of evil that is the

Pentaverian.

They try to control you and me.

This blog is also to chat about all the little things going on in my life.

To bitch about lack of men, money, clothes anything that strikes my fancy.

Chat about my pets and my ex.